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Dirty Socks

Dirty Socks - Marriage

I think I've discovered the secret to a long, healthy, and fun marriage. Hold your chairs, this is gonna blow your mind.

{wait for it}


LOL.  I bet none of you were aware of that, huh ;)

Jim and I are so blessed that we don't have fights. We've yet to have any sort of explosive argument.  We have had a small handful of "heated discussions"...but the moment that it starts to escalate in any way, one of us stops it.  I've always told him that if I ever get cranky or mad, all he needs to do is either make me laugh somehow or come over and hug me...and I'll forget why I was even mad. And that's what he does...and then tears usually well up in my eyes and I tell him I'm sorry. And it fixes it.

But beyond that...I think we have the perfect combination of personalities. Neither one of us is a fighter. We both are peace makers. I've also just always been an extremely patient person. A marriage is made up of 2 imperfect people. So there's going to be things about each other that are sometimes going to frustrate the other. That's just life in our humanness. So I'm so thankful for patience. The last thing I ever want to be is a "nagging wife"...which unfortunately is what many wives are known for.  But then there's Jim that somehow just completely sees past my imperfections ...well mostly ;) I don't know how he does it.

Last night, we discovered the main reason that we ever get frustrated with each other. Jim tends to leave things places where they don't go and I NEED things in their right spot. LOL.

It started with a pair of dirty socks.

First of all, however, I do need to add a disclaimer :)  My husband does SO much around the house to help me.  He's actually the one that does the dishes every exchange for me scooping out the cat pans.  I think it's an even trade since I hate dishes and he hates cat poop. LOL.  I'm very lucky to have a man that wants to help me keep things clean!!

Now back to the dirty socks.

I was in the kitchen and Jim came downstairs to where I was and he was holding a pair of dirty, white socks. And he says to me (realizing that he had the socks in his hand), "I have no idea why I brought these dirty socks down with me." We laugh about it and go on doing what we each were doing. At least an hour later, I see the dirty, white socks on the floor in the middle of the dining room.  And yes... I got frustrated. How in the world did they end up on the floor? I ended up taking them upstairs and putting them in the hamper. And I didn't say anything about it...yet. But within the next few hours I noticed a couple other things were "out of place" and I finally broke and told him all that he did "that was wrong".

Well...that began a..."discussion".

I was frustrated at him for misplacing things and he was frustrated at me for "nagging" on him. {gulp} I had finally done what I never wanted to do.

After talking it out, I came to a realization. Jim and I both are very OCD and he ALSO needs things to be in order, like I do. But he is very goal oriented...where I see all of the details that need to happen to reach that goal. He sees the big picture...where I see all the brush strokes that created it. He walks into the kitchen and sees that everything is put where it goes and the dishes are done...and thinks "ahhh, it's clean".  But I walk into the kitchen and see all of the little details of everything that still needs to be cleaned.

I said to Jim, "It's like you see me across the room...and you are like 'there's my wife...I want to be over there with her"...but then you trip over the cat and the pile of the clothes on the way over to get to me because you don't see them'.".

But that's the point.

He just wants to get to me.

{gulp} How in the world can I be frustrated with that?

Today, I'm very grateful for those dirty socks.

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