If your teenager is experiencing depression, you’re not alone. In fact, 20.1% of Americans between the ages of 12 and 17 have dealt with at least one major depressive episode. Sadly, the risk goes up to 27.2% for biracial teens, along with 29.2% for females. How can you help teenage depression? By learning the indicators of depression and letting your child know that you’re there for them.
Signs of Teenage Depression
There are several emotional and behavioral changes that may indicate depression. Among them are:
- Feeling empty or hopeless
- Feelings of sadness
- Annoyed or irritable mood
- Feelings of anger or frustration
- Low self-esteem
- Loss of interest in family, friends or usual activities
- Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- Extreme sensitivity to failure or rejection
- Fixating on past failures
- Frequent thoughts of suicide, death or dying
- Difficulty thinking, making decisions, concentrating and remembering things
- Social isolation
- Insomnia
- Using drugs or alcohol
- Self-harm
- Changes in appetite
- Poor performance in school
- Angry outbursts
- Complaints of unexplained headaches or body aches
- Suicide attempts
Causes of Teenage Suicide
Teenagers tend to be more impulsive than adults, which makes sense when you consider that their brain won’t be fully developed until their mid-to-late 20s. Therefore, trying to reason with them from an adult’s perspective may not work. It’s best to meet them where they are.
Other common causes for teen suicide include:
- History of trauma
- Prolonged or intense feelings of anxiety, anger or distress
- A tragedy or other stressful life event
- Substance abuse
- Mental health conditions
How to Help Teenage Depression
Helping a teenager deal with depression can be quite difficult, but it’s important to stick with it. Many teens will attempt to tell you that nothing is wrong, you’re overreacting or you’re prying too much. These are indicators that your teen doesn’t feel safe talking to you. Rather than getting upset about this, it’s critical to take proactive steps to protect your teen’s life.
1. Be Supportive
Building empathy and being supportive are two of the most important things you can do. Some parents let their frustration lead them, but this will only shut your teen down even more. Instead, talk to them in a calm, non-judgmental voice and try to validate their emotions. Be curious, compassionate and avoid making critical statements.
2. Help Them Get Treatment for Teenage Depression
Talk to your teen about their need to go to a counseling center. Let them know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and they’re far from alone. An estimated 13.8% of their peers go to counseling, and another 55.8 million American adults do too. Allowing them to talk it out in a safe environment is one of the best ways to help them get better.
3. Highlight the Positive
When we say, ‘highlight the positive,’ we don’t mean always pointing out the bright side. Instead, we mean actively looking for each positive thing they do and celebrating it, rather than keeping a mental list of your frustrations with them. The best thing to do is remove the word ‘should’ from your negative vocabulary.
For instance, don’t berate them about how they should be hanging out with their friends or playing their guitar. This will only make them feel more shame for their depression. Take the opportunity to praise their positive behaviors instead. Did they manage to empty the dishwasher? Let them know they did a good job and it’s much appreciated. Did they spend dinner with the family and actually engage with you? Make it clear you had a good time at dinner and always love hearing what they have to say.
Of course, if they do something wrong, you’ll need to talk about it. Don’t yell at them, though. Take a beat to get your own emotions under control before discussing what they did and how it affected you. This is a much more teen-friendly way to get them to change their behavior.
Talking to Your Teenager About Depression
Before you talk to your teenager, make sure you educate yourself about depression. That way, it’ll be easier for you to understand their feelings. Gently start the conversation and remain open. Normalize feeling sad occasionally and let them know they can talk to you about anything. Ask clarifying questions and encourage them to go to counseling. Finally, let them know you won’t be mad if they choose to talk to another trusted adult instead. By putting their feelings and safety ahead of your ego, you can help them get better.
